sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize