is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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