you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
