I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
no, he came in my armpit
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
