Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
