my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Randomize
