Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize