Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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