Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
