you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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