life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
