dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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