hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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