she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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