so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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