Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
