Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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