I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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