Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
