Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
