let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
