dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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