even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm both gender and math confused
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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