She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
