Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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