he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
