dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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