oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
