Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
love makes seman taste better
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
