So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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