I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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