that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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