I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
