I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
