I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
