mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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