Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I had to cum in my sink.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize