I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
