I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
