Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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