Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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