I love black thongs
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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