I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
