Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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