I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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