Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
