this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Two words: blizzard sex
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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