No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
