friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wear drunk well.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
