I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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