He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
