i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
