I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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