Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
