you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize
