You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
