What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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