she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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