Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
