Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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