yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
