You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
