I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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