I seem to have left my pride at pride
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize