I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
