Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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